just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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