Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize