Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
