I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
