I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
