I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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