Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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