Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
