Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
