Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
