I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize