I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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