Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
PANTIES FOUND
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
