I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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