i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
