it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize