Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
