OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
