i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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