Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Terrible idea I love it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
