Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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