Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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