i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
