I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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