Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
