The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize