Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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