Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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