i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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