yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
