And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am available for nakedness
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
