somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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