i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
