yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
