This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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