i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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