She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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