too bad you live with your parents still
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
