Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
