I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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