I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
