oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
be right there i have to get my cape
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
