I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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