What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So many bounce houses so little time
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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