Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
