I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pooping to opera.
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