Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't deserve a penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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