On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
