I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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