please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
