fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
