...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
