dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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