Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Couch. On fire.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize