ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
