Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
