pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
