I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
