butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
