My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
