I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
