Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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