i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
