you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
