I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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