I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
