All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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