Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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