you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The uberlube is also flammable
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
