i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
