somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
