What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
