the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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