You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
