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For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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